Imposter Syndrome: Do I Belong Here?

Ever have that feeling when you have worked hard at earning something and then once you achieve it, it feels like you don’t deserve it, or feel like the others around you have worked harder than you? Ever feel like everyone else around you knows what they are doing, but you feel lost or unsure about your abilities? If so, you might be experiencing something called imposter syndrome.

Keep reading below to find out what imposter syndrome is, and how you can navigate it!

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is “characterized by self-doubt, fears of being discovered as a fraud, and an inability to internalize successes”. (1)

Some Features:

• Engage in self-doubt

• The need to be "special" or "the best"

• Doing everything perfect and with ease

• Connection to shame and thus avoiding making mistakes or facing challenges

• Inauthentic with interests in needing to please people or fit stereotypes or norms

• Denial of competence and discounting praise

• Connection of fear and guilt of trying something new/different or ending a sport or a job

Throughout our lives, these signs or experiences can show up for everyone. It becomes imposter syndrome if these patterns continue and begin to negatively impact our mental health and overall well-being. Longterm or if it doesn’t get addressed, imposter syndrome can lead to anxiety, depression, burnout, and compassion fatigue (difficulties being able to care/support others).

Different Types

There are five different types of imposter syndrome patterns to protect the false belief that someone is a “fake” or a “fraud” or have a fear of “being unmasked”. You can notice one of these show up for you, or a mix of them can happen.

1. The Perfectionist

   This is focusing on how something is done. This is expecting 110% results. You might feel the need to micromanage, or getting one answer wrong on something would be very difficult to accept or you see yourself as a failure.

2. The Natural Genius

   The belief the achievement should be achieved easily and naturally. It may be difficult to stick something challenging because it’s about wanting to see success immediately, versus allowing time for growth.

3. The Expert

   This is connected with how much someone knows. It’s the belief that if you don’t know something, then you are an imposter or a failure. This might mean researching a topic, feeling like you need to know everything, and over preparation in case you have to know something.

4. The Soloist

   This is where it is difficult to ask for help or to accept help from others. You believe that if you get help for an achievement related task it “doesn’t count”. Asking for help is connected vulnerability, shame, and incompetence.

5. The Superhero

   This is the attempt to take on many roles at once, and difficulties with setting boundaries. Then, if a mistake or not living up to these many roles happens, it can feel like failure. It can indicate difficulties in setting boundaries for yourself and the roles you take on.

Do Children or Teens Experience This?

Yes! Children and teens can definitely experience imposter syndrome. You might hear them say “I’m getting a B- in my honors class which means I don’t deserve to be in it!” or “They just gave me captain because there was no one else who wanted to do it”. The great thing is, if you’re a parent or caregiver, this can be the time to support your child or teen if they are struggling to internalize their successes.

What Can I Do About It?

• Build awareness

  Notice the signs and triggers that lead to imposter syndrome showing up. These can be things like trying something new, facing a new challenge, or an opportunity for growth.

• Notice external messages
  Sometimes our families put a lot of value in getting good grades or high achievement. There are also environmental stereotypes that can apply to people, and other barriers like being the first person in your family to go to college. It can be hard when you are the one doing something different and new for yourself, and your support network is unfamiliar with it.

• Validate

  Be able to name and normalize what you are going through. Something like “I have never been captain before, so it makes sense that I feel nervous or stressed about this role!” can acknowledge the feelings, and can then lead way to supporting yourself with this new opportunity.

• Self Care

  Taking care of yourself during stressful times is so important. This can be doing things for yourself, and reaching out to supportive people in your life. It might feel uncomfortable at first sharing that you don’t know how to do something, or fear of what people think of you, but the important thing to remember is that it happens to everyone! The key is talking about it instead of pushing the unhelpful thoughts/feelings away.

Imposter syndrome is very common, and it isn’t something we always feel comfortable talking about with people. The important thing is to remember that you are not alone! This also brings up the important piece of you being in control of the people you surround yourself with, and tuning into if they feel supportive. It is also an opportunity to continue self-care and focus on growth; growth can look different in so many ways, and it is ok if we make mistakes or encounter failure as a part of that journey.