School Anxiety: Ideas to Support Your Child or Teen for the Big First Day
While there is still plenty of time for summer fun, school is right around the corner! Dun dun dun! (Scary, daunting music plays) Maybe you’re planning the shopping list, buying new clothes for your child, and getting emails on news and updates. As a parent, you may be feeling it all creep up faster than you expected!
The first day of school can be exciting, but it can also bring lots of worries, jitters, and anxiety for children and teens. There are many unknowns on the first day of school, so it makes sense that worries pop up. Your child or teen may be imagining worst case scenarios, how they will get to school, wanting to know their schedules, who they will eat lunch with, getting to know new people, if they will like their teacher, and the list might keep going!
So, as a parent, how do you best support your child or teen to help them get through that first day of school? Below are some ideas to try! This can help with natural jitters, if they are starting at a new school, or if they have been working to build skills to better manage their anxiety:
Go check out the school
Go to their school’s playground or go for a walk around it as an outing. This can get your child familiar with the environment and the surroundings. You can talk about where they will be dropped off, where buses go, and get to have fun playing at the playground. This creates a positive experience and outlook for the first day. This is also a non-pressured outing without other people there so your child can begin to feel more comfortable. If you have a teen, they can practice driving to the school, see if they walk inside the school, or check out the sports field if that is open.
Listen to their worries
Instead of dismissing a worry your child or teen is sharing, that is the time to tune in a listen to what is on your child’s or teen’s mind as school approaches. Validate their feelings and offer support if they are wanting to hear ideas on what would be helpful. That will give your child the confidence knowing someone is there to listen to them and help if needed. It can even be a quick check-in and you can pick light topics around school versus an in-depth discussion. Kids and teens are more likely to talk and open up with less direct questions.
Connect with peers
Try to get connected with parents to coordinate play dates or activities so your child is spending time with someone they will be in class with. Having a buddy on the first day of school can be a nice ice breaker and lessen the pressure to get to know people in their classroom. If you have a teen, see if they have stayed connected with friends and who they might like to hang out with before school starts.
Practice or role-play
If you have a younger child, practice role playing and getting on and off the bus, or saying good bye at drop off. You can also practice how to ask for help, introductions, lining up, and getting back on the bus. If you have a teen, maybe they would find it helpful to practice different types of conversations, or walk through their schedule with them.
Take care of parent to-do’s
Go check out your school’s or district’s website (for example, here is Minneapolis’s back to school prep checklist Minneapolis Back to School Checklist), and you can see what needs to be done before the start of the school year. This can take pressure off of your child so all the ducks are in a row and avoid any hiccups with necessary registrations, confirming transportation, knowing important dates, etc.
Check out activities and sports
Having your child or teen join a club, sport, or an activity is a natural way to make friends. See what they would be interested in, check out the school’s website, or sometimes even having an activity outside of school can be helpful to have different areas of friendships.
Ask for support
If you sense that some of these ideas or know that transitions are difficult for your child or teen, consider reaching out to the school for support. Their principal, teacher, or school counselor may be able to make a plan for their first day, and throughout the first few weeks of school. When teachers and the school are aware of what your child or teen needs, they can be prepared to offer support.
Notice your own jitters!
Lastly, as a parent, of course you want your child’s or teen’s first day to go as well as possible! Sometimes parents can experience their own worries, and that can sometimes transfer to the child or teen. It is important to remember to model confidence for your child, and seek external support if you notice stress and worries creeping up as school approaches.
Below are some additional resources to check out:
Websites:
https://education.mn.gov/mde/fam/back/
https://www.edutopia.org/article/back-to-school-resources-parents
https://www.familyeducation.com/school-learning/back-school
Back to School Books:
https://www.understood.org/en/articles/5-great-back-to-school-books-for-kids-in-grades-1-4
https://www.epicreads.com/blog/back-to-school-books/ (for teens)