Teen Going to College? Here are 5 Strategies Parents Can Do to Support Their Mental Health
It’s An Exciting Journey!
Your teen going to college can bring up a lot of feelings as they prepare; not only for them, but also for parents! For many teens, this period is filled with a mix of excitement and anxiety as they prepare to embark this new journey. This transition involves self-discovery, independence, and pursuing their goals. As a parent, there might be some of your own worries due to wanting your teen to succeed!
Why Think About Their Mental Health Now?
College is a really big transition, so it’s important to start thinking of ways to support their mental health now, so they feel prepared when move-in date arrives. The pressures of academic performance, social expectations, and the looming uncertainty of the future can weigh heavily on a teen, that’s also preparing for adulthood. Add to this the prospect of leaving familiar surroundings and venturing into the new territory of college, and it's no wonder that many teens find themselves encountering some bumpy roads!
One of the primary sources of anxiety for teens entering college is the fear of the unknown. “Will I fit in?”… “Will I be able to handle the academic workload?”… “What if I don't make any friends?”… These are probably a few of the questions your teen may be expressing either internally or externally. Maybe you even hear questions about “How do I do my laundry?” or “What if I have to walk to class alone?” (no judgment whatever the worry might be!).
Stuck on what you can do as a parent? Continue reading to learn ways to support your teen!
5 Ways Parents Can Support Teen Going to College:
Explore helpful life-skills and knowledge
Teen unfamiliar with laundry? Could their cooking skills gain improvement (outside of cereal and Easy Mac)? Could they try keeping track of their spending and learning more about their finances?
These can all be helpful things or topics to explore with your teen and help them feel prepared as they navigate their own independence. The great thing about getting started right now is that there is lots of time to gain some familiarity around this!
Here is a great free list to review with your teen
Why is this an important part of supporting their mental health? By having these skills and pieces of knowledge prepared, both you and your teen will feel assured they have the essential foundations, and they are one less thing to worry about as they are dealing with all of the other new changes. Picture it as taking a few things off of their plate so they can focus on school, making friends, and having fun!
Look into resources for therapists
Learn about what your teen’s school offers for mental health support and student services. Ensure your teen knows it’s location, phone number/contact information, and how to reach out if they need support. As move in date approaches, you could even have them call and connect with someone so it is already set up for them if they need it.
This might be helpful if your teen has already been in therapy, so there is a smooth transition once they move. Also, it is important to check with their current therapist due to rules around reciprocity and being able to provide therapy if your teen is moving to a different state. This means if a therapist is only licensed in the state they are located, they cannot practice if you are living in a different state.
You can also look into external resources outside of the college campus and see if there are therapists practicing close to their college. It might be good to see if there are waitlists now, as therapists outside of student services can feel more individualized.
Create a shared “master list”
In order to help with communication, and to identify the timeline for preparing for moving and going to college, create a shared document list that you can both see and add to as needed.
Sometimes, there’s lots to think about such as finding a roommate, sending in necessary applications and paperwork, or getting their college room supplies/decor, and having a shared list can help put any stress or worries aside until that due date arrives. This can also help decrease surprises with what needs to be done, and thus less panic as college arrives, and also set expectations on needs vs. wants, and what you plan to contribute to their college supplies.
Discuss boundaries and expectations
It’s ok to worry and want the best for your teen! It’s also important to discuss what expectations and boundaries look like when they move.
Questions/things to discuss with your teen:
The BIG PICTURE: Why do they want to go to college and what are their hopes and goals?
Family expectations: How often would you feel comfortable with parents texting/calling? What is important to you and your teen around these expectations? How can I be more supportive as a parent?
Money and rules around spending/financial support: Will they plan to have a job? How will dues be paid? Do you hope they will keep a budget?
Health: Do they know their health history? Can they describe or discuss their concerns with a doctor independently? Do they have the contact information with their medical provider? Are there any prescriptions they need to know how to access/refill?
Academic success: What do you think would be helpful with your time management skills? How do you and your teen feel about sharing grades? When should they decide if they should drop a class? Do they have a long term plan based on their major with what classes they need to take?
Getting involved: How does your teen feel about their school culture, and ways to get involved? What are clubs or organizations the school offers? Do they want to attend sporting events? Are there places outside of campus they would like to explore?
Friends and relationships: How do they plan to connect with others? What to do if they don’t like their roommate? Expectations around dating?
Drugs and alcohol: How does your teen feel about partying and drinking culture? What are ways to stay safe when they go to a party? What do they need to know to help someone else that has had too much to drink? Do they know about the impacts of different types of drugs or alcohol or mixing substances?
Safety: What are some important safety measures we can discuss if they are ever needed? What do they need to do if something is stolen?
Self-care: How do they can try to practice this? Are they aware of the essential foundations to take care of themselves (sleep, eating, taking breaks, etc.)? What distractions do they need to be mindful of?
Plan times to regularly discuss the college plans and updates
Keep checking in with your teen! While they are busy wrapping up with high school, there may be a lot of different emotions showing up as one journey ends, and the other one begins. It can be easy to get lost in the to-do’s, and your teen may have a lot on their plate, so having conversations and checking in with their needs could be helpful.
Hopefully these five ideas give you and your teen the extra support needed as they embark on this exciting journey! There’s a lot to think about, and there isn’t a “right” way to do college, but the most important piece around all of that is you and your teen are on the same page, and you do what works best for you, them, and your family!